Derision and Awe

A mixture of derision and awe ...

A couple of years ago a friend and I decided to go have a drink at a new bar in town.  It was trendy and frequented by a young crowd.  Seeing no available table, we situated ourselves at the bar, ordered craft cocktails, and settled in to enjoy each other's company.

After awhile a young man on the barstool next to mine nudged me with his elbow. I turned to him.

"Hi, how're you ladies doing tonight?" he asked.  We smiled and nodded: "Hello, just fine. And you?"

He paused to sip his beer, then leaned over closer to us and continued:

"I was just wondering how it feels to be so old you could be mothers of most people in this bar."  

Speechless for a moment, I grimaced to my friend, who was also dumbstruck.  I laughed uncomfortably but decided to ignore the insult and engage him in conversation   Shortly we discovered that he was a local guy, where he was employed, and, as small town folk often do, we queried a bit more until we found that we knew some people in common, including my son-in-law.  Realizing he was no longer anonymous, he became less smirky, more respectful, and perhaps somewhat uncomfortable himself (perhaps because he realized he was not anonymous any more). While we were talking a fight broke out at the other end of the bar distracting our attention and as it escalated he apparently made his exit.

During the days to come his initial query surfaced in my mind repeatedly, and I thought of other things I wish I'd said to him at the time, mostly amounting to: "How does it feel to be such a jerk?" Although I felt we'd handled things well, I felt stung by the way that he had purposely insulted us by simply stating the truth.  Looking back, I'm sure we were old enough to be mothers of most of the patrons in that bar that night. 

Nobody likes to be seen as out of place.  We're so much more comfortable fitting into a mold that society seems to have prepared for us.

But should that shame us from doing what we please?  (Hell, no!)

Supporting one another in the choices we each want to make is an important part of how we help each other enjoy freedom at every stage of life.

Here's a great example.  A group calling themselves "Very Old Skateboarders" have established a Facebook page since in any given place there are generally few elders in skateparks.  No matter where in the world they might be, kindred spirits can find each other.  As one woman in the video said, "... when we are out an about there is a mixture of awe and derision directed at us ... " 

Very Old Skateboarders https://youtu.be/BAxvJ5-NL1c

Then, here's Meenakshi Raghavan, an awesome woman, teaching sword-fighting in her 70's https://youtu.be/wE7mROEFX4U

And let's not forget Paddy and Nico dancing!  https://youtu.be/hjHnWz3EyHs

All of these people exemplify the courage and focus it takes to ignore the derision and to inspire the awe!

And let's help each other remember:

We don't need to fit into anyone's idea of who we are or can be

We can find inspiring role models to guide us forward.

They may or may not be athletes or dancers, as 

there are many types of courage.

Sometimes we fall,

but when we get up, and step out 

we can rise up.